December 5, 2010

Well, yesterday sure was lousy! I did fine up until dinner and then I simply lost it. I ate 8 fish sticks instead of 3. I used tarter sauce. Later when I cleaning the table and putting things back in the fridge, I spied a piece of fried chicken that Michael had brought home from work. I was like a possessed drug addict! I snatched it from the fridge and gobbled it up.

I immediately felt horrrible and went to lay down in the bedroom. My grand-daughter came in the room and said, "What's wrong, Grandma?" I told her that I just needed to rest for a minute. She patted my head and said "Don't let the bed bugs bites!" and turned off the light. I laid there for a few minutes and thought about just turning in for the night. Instead I got up and went into the living room.

I fessed up to Michael who was totally shocked (and bit mad because he wanted the chicken for himself). We discussed whether I should get on the treadmill. My stomach felt too upset to exercise. I ending up watching a movie and snacking on apple slices the rest of the night.

Maybe this sounds like a bunch of internal drama over a piece of chicken and a few fish sticks. Maybe you're thinking, "What the hell is wrong with her? Isn't she supposed to be on a diet? Didn't she start the day pledging good intentions?" Maybe you're thinking I'm weak and lack will power.

I'm a food addict. It was like I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't hungry. At the moment I saw the fried chicken, I was powerless. I need to think about a better plan for those moments. I will let those ideas develop. More later on that topic

Okay! Enough dwelling on the negative. Let's review what I did well yesterday. I took a walk at lunch even though it was cold and everyone else stayed in the warm building. I packed a healthy lunch while most people went to Wendy's or snacked on chips and candy. I drank more than 64 ounces of water. I tried the salt substitute that I bought the other day.

Most importantly, though, I didn't "hide." I fessed up. I could have pretended it didn't happen. I could have not reported it on the BodyMedia site and "pretended" that my lack of weight loss was a "problem" with my body. My body is fine, it's my mind that's messed up!!!!!! hahahaha

The number from yesterday reflect the worst day of this challenge.

Calorie deficit = 113. Steps = 8,259. Water 64+. Sodium = 5.063. Fat 43%

Today brings more challenges. I will attending an annual Christmas Tea Party. There will be little sandwiches and lovely tiny cakes. I'm going to face the challenges that today brings with resolve and confidence.